Thirteen reasons why
by Dayreader
Summary: This's an 'AU' that happens right after 2x07. What if Jill had taken Chuck to her leaders?
1. One: Missing

Maybe a One-shoot Chuck fanfic? This's an AU that happens right after 2x11.

What if Jill had taken Chuck to her leaders?

**Note 1**: If you like it, I'm thinking about making it more than just a one-shoot. I'm actually thinking about writing more, so it's really important to review if you like it so that I know! :)

**Note 2**: This's going to be written from "I" point of view, simply because: I suck at third person. Enjoy! Please review!

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><p><em>Can you see in the dark?<em>

_Can you see the look on your face? _

_The flashing white light's been turned off_

_You don't know who's in your bed. _

_It takes more than fucking someone you don't know to keep warm._

I stroke my fingers against her hair, feeling the softness beneath my skin. At some point, I took a lock of her hair and just played around with it. Because she was beautiful; and here I am, running away with my ex-girlfriend from Stanford. It was nearly impossible to get over her after the tough breakup- and it was exactly as impossible not to fall for her again.

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><p>"Where're we going?" I managed to ask after a while. We had been driving for quite some time now. If I had to guess it'd be about two hours. I frowned. Two hours was an awful amount of time to increase a distance from my handlers and us. I mean, it would be enough to just drive to the third nearest hotel right?<p>

"Trust me Chuck, you don't want to know." She said it with such a stern voice, almost worrying me for a bit, but then she smiled.

"Don't worry; it's going to be worth it." I nodded and smiled one of my goofy smiles.

The most scary but fun part about this trip was that neither of my handlers knew _where _I was. I had dumped the watch, although, I _had _my phone… Either way, they wouldn't know where I was until they tracked my phone. Well, I really hope that they wouldn't because it _would _be awkward if they found out where we were and forced open the door, walking in on an inappropriate moment… Oh my god I'm just going to go insane if I keep thinking like that, I thought to myself.

"What are you thinking about?" why did she choose right that moment to engage a new conversation?

"Oh, nothing particular…" Jill smirked and then a particular song started on the radio. The Coldplay's Major minus started singing.

_They got one eye watching you_

_One eye, what you do? So be careful who it is you're talking to _

_They got one eye watching you _

_One eye, what you do? So be careful what it is you're tryin' to do_

_And be careful when you're walking into view _

_Just be careful when you're walking into view_

We were actually in the middle of nowhere. The place the car was driving through was surrounded by a dessert. The sun kept shining and I could feel the sun stroking my sore skin.

"Hey, you didn't happen to bring some sun cream did you?"

"Sorry Chuck." Jill's fingers started playing over the steering wheel and her eyes turned tense.

"What is it?" Jill looked like she was holding something back and I really wanted to find out what it was.

"Jill?" She didn't look at me. The wind caught her hair as she sped up, and strands of her dark hair were flying wildly.

"Jill?" I asked anxious. I watched as Jill's half-attempted smile drew out to a line.

"We are here." She said as we were about to pass a sign. I looked at the sign and could help but to let out a growl. On the sign a man in his fifties was posing, with his thumb up and his gray hair slicked back, on the bottom the word _Delaney_ was typed_._ A shooting pain went through my head and I was no longer in the car. Images flashed quickly by. I saw images of Fulcrum, some CIA facilities, pictures of people and some buildings.

"Chuck! You okay?" Jill's shouting brought me back into reality. _Oh my god. _

"Jill, I need you to turn around. It isn't a good idea for you to be driving here."

"Chuck…"

"No Jill! Turn back, turn back!" I yelled at her. She looked at my eyes that shone of desperation.

If she only knew what I had seen, she didn't know about the Intersect in my head- so I couldn't tell her about my so called 'flash'. The road she was driving on belonged to Fulcrum. Fulcrum had originally planned to make this place into a Fulcrum facility. But the project had been put on hold, or more honest, depleted. Still, I hell didn't want to drive around Fulcrum-places without Sarah or Casey behind my back, ready to defend me…

Out of sudden, I caught a glimpse of a dark SUV pulled up beside the road a couple of meters in front of us.

"Jill. We need to turn back!" Why didn't she listen? Jill kept driving, her face expressionless.

"I'm sorry Chuck, I really am. I never intended for this to happen."

_Got one eye on the road and one on… _

_They got one eye watching you _

_And one eye, what you do? _

_So be careful 'cause nothing they say is true_

The radio sang.

This was so wrong; my guts were telling me that something was wrong. Had she really betrayed me again?

Jill pulled over behind the SUV and men dressed in black suits and sunglasses stepped out of the SUV.

"Jill!" I yelled. I wanted to scream. I didn't have my watch. This was bad, this was _so bad. _Was Jill in on this? Of course she was, she wouldn't have stopped the car if she wasn't. Oh my god what am I going to do? What am I going to do? The two men approached the car. My mind was blank and the only thing left was my instinct- and it told me to run. To run as fast and far as I could. Didn't matter where, just as long as I got out of here. Jill saw the sudden change in my movement so she pulled out her gun and pointed it at my chest.

"Chuck, don't" she was emotionless, she was a fucking psychopath! How could I have fallen for such a… such a… there were no words for what I wanted to say.

"Charles Bartowski, step out of the car." One of the dark dressed men said just a few centimeters away from the car. He had a pair of handcuffs.

Fast. Fast, I needed a plan. They would probably torture me; put me in one of those freaking bunkers without windows.

My phone. _I had my phone. _

"Bartowski, step out of the car or I will make you." The bad guy number one said. In my mind- he wasn't anything more than that. I was the Intersect, so they must be kidnapping me for that reason right? So they couldn't shoot me… But did Jill know about…?

"Could you step back so that I can open the door?" The bad guy number one did that, surprisingly. I was yet shocked that they hadn't tranquilized me already. Quickly I pulled out the phone out of sight of Jill and slid it open. As quickly as I could I called Sarah. This hadn't taken more than a few seconds, but I guess that it was a few seconds too much. In the distance, I could hear Sarah's voice going:

"Chuck?" I knew that they would just take my phone one way or another as soon as I stepped out of the car, so I had done what I could.

"This's enough. I tried to be civil about this." The bad guy number one said and ripped me out of the car, shoved me unto the car's head and pushed down my head on it. He handcuffed me and then bad guy number two covered my head with a dark bag. I didn't even try to scream for help, because there was no one here. I was in an abandoned desert, with no humans in sight for miles. The only people around me were bad guys and Jill, the woman that had betrayed me, over and over again. I've had enough. I couldn't bear this any second longer. I hoped that my phone still lay on the bottom of the car, or more precise, the car's carpet.

I hope that Sarah was tracking the phone, but did it really matter? The bunker I was going to be stashed in was probably not even in this state. Oh god, Sarah would never find me. So stupid! I should have worn the goddamn watch! This's why I should stop trusting other human beings… Damn it.

My kidnappers suddenly dragged me away from the car and put me into the SUV. Not that I could see anything… Everything was dark.

What will happen to Ellie? She would think that I left her just like dad and mom! She would never forgive me.

"Where am I going?" it was probably a really stupid question, but couldn't hurt to try anyways right? One of the kidnappers grunted and I felt as something smashed against my head.

I was wrong, it hurt.

* * *

><p>I had no idea how much time had passed.<p>

I had no idea where I was.

The only thing I did know was that it was dark.

I took a couple of deep breathes. Where am I? My eyes where still closed and I was like _really_ tired. It felt like I had some kind of a hangover, but worse.

My head was throbbing and my eyelids felt heavy.

After some time, I decided to crack my eyes open. My heart started thumping rapidly and my eyes widened. I had expected to wake up in my old room and the shock of this place created Goosebumps down my arms.

The room white and was quite small, but big enough to contain a bed, a TV screen and a wardrobe. There were also two doors. One was locked and the other one was open, the light was on in that room and cast shadows of a bathroom. I looked up to the gray ceiling to see a video camera, to be extra annoying it shone in a red light.

There was only one thought stuck in my head: I'm screwed.

I decided to swing my legs over the bed, but that didn't result well since the movement made me feel dizzy. I looked down at my body to see that I was dressed in my nerd herd outfit- minus the nametag.

Sitting there on the edge of the white bed with the white sheets, it all started to slowly come back to me. Memories of Jill and Fulcrum flashed before my eyes and I was terrified. I was in a fulcrum facility. I was being watched by the organization that wanted the Intersect. They've got what they wanted. Oh god. What would Sarah tell Ellie? What would happen to Morgan? I hid my face in my palms. First Bryce, now Jill: would there be another one that screwed me over?

The door that I presumed to be locked opened and a man dressed in a white coat walked in.

"Chuck Bartowski." The man looked to be in his mid-fifties. He had blond hair mixed with white strands. I didn't answer. Because, what was I supposed to answer?

"Chuck, don't be afraid. Since you're the Intersect we would _never _do anything to harm you." Yeah, that was so reassuring, I thought grimly.

"Okay so look. This's how this's going to work: we are going to take you into our special intersect room and we are going to test you if you can truly flash." Should I ask how long I've been out? Did it matter? Casey and Sarah would never find me and we all three knew that I could never withstand torture. Even if I couldn't believe that anyone would save me, I still couldn't help but hope at least a little that Sarah or Casey would find me.

"Okay, so I guess that you don't understand how this works." The man in the white coat said, suddenly, he pulled out a tranquilizer gun.

"If you don't follow me, I will simply tranquilize you. Since we cannot kill you, we can at least give you liver damage. But oh, that's not all. If we get bored of tranquilizing you we will simply get the guards to take care of the problem. Now, how do you like to proceed?" Well, if I were tranquilized I won't have to think about the nagging problem and I wouldn't have to go into that freaking 'Intersect room'. But was it smart of me to ignore the fact and simply…

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><p>"That was warning number one. If you keep denying the fact that you belong to <em>us. <em>We will do what's necessary." My body was slacked against the bed. Wait, had he tranquilized me?

"Okay." He led me out of the room, (or my "bunker"), into a white corridor. Everything in here was white. I hated it. Oh, I nearly forgot that the old guy had a tranquilize gun pointed at my back.

After a while we stopped and he pushed open a door.

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><p>The room was quite big and oval-formed. In the middle of the room a big wide glass table was placed. There were two big windows on both sides of the room. The windows were similar to interrogation-windows, the ones we had back in Castle. Only difference was that you could see through these windows. I saw desk's with people typing on their computers behind those windows. Except that there weren't anything else to add, just white walls, a white floor and a gray ceiling.<p>

"Sit." The man in the white coat ordered. I didn't know what else was left for me to do than to obey, so I sunk down in the nearest chair in the room.

"Okay Chuck. So this's how it's going to work. You're the Intersect and we want everything that's in the head of yours. We can't kill you, but we can hurt you. Do you like torture? Because if you don't obey our orders, well." The man that I would like to call bad doc sunk down in a chair beside him. Well, he looked like some kind of a doctor in that white coat…

"I'm going to show you some pictures and you are going to tell me what you see." I don't know if I would be able to withstand torture, but I couldn't reveal every government secret right?

"Before you do, could you tell me how much time has passed since…" I was nearly afraid to ask. Actually, I wanted to scream Jill's name and I wanted to scream for just anyone to come and save me.

"Week and a half." The bad doc said while fishing up some pictures from his pocket.

"_Week and a half?" _it had nearly passed two weeks since they abducted me. Oh god, how could anyone ever find me now?

The bad doc put a picture of a desert in front of my eyes and I felt the immediate throbbing pain and my eyes twitched. Pictures of a CIA base, Fulcrum base and something called AGRA flashed before my eyes.

Moments later the pictures and the flash stopped.

"Tell me, what did you see?" I felt reluctant to share the information I was now possessing. But I also felt reluctant of being tortured or beaten.

"This, this whole base… I'm in… Detroit?" Realization hit me. I was in an abandoned city; how the hell would anyone find me? It was hours from Burbank, hell Detroit was across the country.

"And?" Bad doc said.

"And this was once a CIA base…" I cut off myself. I shouldn't continue. The bunker they had stashed me in was in Detroit, in the more abandoned area, there weren't any sane human beings around this bunker.

My thoughts went back to my flash. AGRA. They were an organization that resembled to CIA, NSA, but it wasn't quite like it. They were more… distant. I hadn't heard of them before this flash.

"I'm amazed that the human Intersect works, but dammit Chuck. You better start talking if you don't want to get hurt." Bad doc observed my hesitation and then he sighed and opened a laptop in front of him.

"I don't want to risk hurting you, but I guess that maybe I can catch your attention if I show you… this." Bad doc opened up a program and it seemed to be some kind of a video-clip. I leaned closer and saw that the program showed Ellie and Devon's doorstep. Realization hit me- I was about to watch a surveillance footage.

"What is this?"

"Schh, let me show you first." He pressed play and my eyes were glued on the screen. On the bottom of the screen it read that the date was about three days ago.

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><p>Sarah stood in front of Ellie's and Devon's door. Her eyes were red and her blonde hair tangled. Sarah knocked on the door and after a moment the door was opened by Ellie.<p>

"Sarah?" As Ellie saw the redness in Sarah's eyes a frown grew on Ellie's forehead.

"Sarah, is everything okay?" she asked concerned- in response Sarah shook her head.

"Come in and tell me, what's going on?" Sarah stroke away a tear that was starting to form in her eyes and then she walked in.

The camera switched to the ones inside of Ellie and Devon's apartment.

Sarah swallowed and Ellie gestured to Sarah to sit down in the sofa.

"Sarah?" Sarah sunk down in the sofa and then she placed her trembling hands on her knees.

"It's Chuck. He's… It's…" she could barely manage to speak. Tears threatened to spill down Sarah cheeks.

"He's what? Sarah you're worrying me." Ellie sounded frightened.

"Chuck's been in a car accident. Apparently he saw a kid on the road playing with his friends. Then around the corner a car drove too fast. Chuck saw that the car would hit the kid so he ran over there and pushed away the kid, taking the hit instead." Ellie's concern fell and was replaced with panic.

"Oh my god, is he okay?" she hid her mouth in her palms and tears started falling. Ellie was crying and her eyes were red and wide. Sarah shook sadly her head.

"I'm so sorry Ellie. He died a hero." Ellie threw her arms around Sarah and cried. Tears were streaming down Sarah's cheeks and this didn't look like an act-she looked deliberately sad.

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><p>Bad doc shut down the laptop.<p>

I was… speechless. Tears were threatening to escape my eyes. Sarah had told Ellie that I was dead. Ellie thought that I was dead. I felt how my body started to shut down. It was so painful that I had to watch that. How could Sarah have done this? Oh god. What if Sarah realized that she couldn't find me and decided to… I felt sick and I just wanted to throw up. I couldn't breathe. What if everything was lost? I leaned back in my chair and bashed my head against the seat. How could I live knowing that I had caused Ellie such pain? And really Sarah? A car accident? My body that had been tense just moments ago now started to turn lose. I realized what was happening. I was shutting down. Last time this happened was when dad had left Ellie and me to fend for our lives. That whole night I had laid in my bed paralyzed, with no lust for living. I wanted to laugh and I wanted to cry, but most of all, I wanted out of this hellhole and hug Ellie and tell her that I wasn't dead. _Ellie I'm still here! _I wanted to scream.

"As you see we have eyes on your sister… Devon… and even Morgan. Now, I believe that we could be civilized but I guess that you haven't listened yet. If you _don't _cooperate we will _kill _your family. We will kill your sister Chuck. Do you want that? One phone call and I will have a hit-man there in less than ten minutes on scene."

"No. Please, I will do whatever you want just don't.. don't hurt Ellie." My words weren't louder than a whisper. I heard my voice crack in the end and I was on the verge of shutting down. For real this time. I felt like last time I shut down. My hands were trembling and I was losing myself. I felt my thoughts vanish and I felt as I was beginning to disappear. I would never see Ellie again. Ellie thought that I was dead… The thoughts repeated and I just couldn't handle it anymore so I hid my face behind my palm and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"Chuck, open your eyes, because I need you to flash. Flash, or your sister dies."


	2. Two: Sarah

_Hi there!_

**Note 1**: _I'd like you guys to be gentle if there's grammar/ misspelling issues, because English's my third language :P_

**Note 2: **_This's after 2x07, apologies if I said otherwise earlier. Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Two<strong>: _Sarah_

I was panting, my breath was stuck in my throat as I held up Chuck's watch to Casey. This was bad, Chuck was missing and I had no idea where he was. Casey's eyes widened in panic as he looked at chuck's watch. I looked into Casey's eyes and we were both thinking the same thing: Chuck was missing.

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><p>There hadn't been much to talk about when Casey and I ran over to his apartment across of chuck's yard. We needed to call the general and inform her about Chuck's disappearance.<p>

But Chuck still had his phone didn't he? Because if he had his phone, I could track down his location. Maybe it wasn't too late. I didn't have much of a faith to god but still, god I hoped that Chuck was alright. I just didn't know what to do if he was held by Fulcrum. We stepped into Casey's apartment and Casey was just about to call Beckman but I grabbed his arm, preventing him from making that call.

"Casey wait."

"What?" he grunted.

"Chuck still has his phone, we can track him down. Besides, what if he's only on a road trip with Jill?"

"Walker, are you out of your mind? Or have you just forgotten that Jill's a Fulcrum agent?"

"If Chuck's been captured by Fulcrum it's even more important that we track his phone!"

"Fine." Casey said adamantly as he placed the remote control on the table. Casey walked over to his shelves and pulled out some gear.

"You track his phone and I will call Beckman." I didn't disagree and I quickly leaned over the gear. The tracking device was similar to the one in Castle but smaller, actually, the tracking device was some sort of a laptop, but its only purpose was to track GPS locations.

I filled what needed to be filled and the "laptop", call it whatever, started processing the data.

"Mayor Casey?" I heard Beckman's voice.

"General, we have a situation."

"What is it?"

"We believe that the Intersect is currently with a Fulcrum agent." The laptop had processed 37% and not wanting to waste time gazing at a screen, I joined Casey that stood in front of the TV.

"Are you telling me that Fulcrum has Chuck?"

"No, general. We're saying that Chuck's current whereabouts are unknown. All we know is that he's with his girlfriend, Jill Roberts- a Fulcrum agent. We are currently tracking his phone." I cut in to their conversation.

"How did this happen?" She demanded.

"We let him out of the sight…" I confessed reluctantly.

"I'm sending out a team to track down Chuck Bartowski." Beckman disconnected leaving Casey and me speechless.

"Maybe he just went on a road trip." I said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, or he's heading to a hotel to get laid…" Casey murmured. I wanted to punch him in that particular moment but I took a deep breath and let it go.

"I really hope that he just went rough, we need to find him, because if we don't… I'd be breaking the promise I gave him."

"Walker, I appreciate that you want to share your touchy-feelings with me, but I'm not Chuck." This was a disaster. I hoped and yet got mad at the thought of Chuck just going off like that!

A beep noise was heard and I knew that the laptop had found him, _thank god. _Casey and I walked over to the laptop to look at the screen.

**_Object off grid._** This wasn't possible; the only chance to find Chuck was gone! I collapsed down in Casey's sofa.

"Walker, what are you doing?" Casey demanded.

"Casey, what if we won't find him?" I whispered. I felt so weak, this wasn't me I realized. Chuck was my weakness and I knew it. The thought of him gone, I could barely process it.

"Well, we won't find him if you'll be sitting there on your ass doing nothing!" Casey grunted.

What took them both in surprise was the phone that suddenly rang in the silent room. _It was my phone!_ I pulled out my phone from my pocket and as I saw the caller ID I sighed in relief.

"Thank god." It came out as a whisper. I gestured at Casey to get the tracking device going, he didn't waste another second. I put the phone on speaker.

"Chuck?" he didn't answer and suddenly I heard a panting and a sound that was awfully similar to ripping open a car door. '_That's enough; I tried to be civil about this'. _A deep husky voice yelled. Casey looked back at me as terrified as me, with the same bad feeling in the gut as I. There was a smash, like someone was slammed against a car's head. There was someone yelping in agony, _Chuck._ Then the other line went silent.

"Chuck!" there wasn't an answer, I hadn't expected him to answer, but I had hoped.

"Did you get him?" my eyes shot back at Casey who looked up from the laptop.

"Yes."

There wasn't much said after that we packed our bags with guns and hinted Beckman the possible location of Chuck. This was a longshot. Maybe Chuck wasn't even near the phone, but still- it might give us some clues.

I was truly denying it. I couldn't accept that it was true, but it was. Chuck had been captured by Fulcrum. Fulcrum knew his identity and even if we found him his life wouldn't be the same because his identity had been discovered. All I could do was to hope that we could minimize the damage.

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><p>After approximately two hours Casey and I started to approach Chuck's presumed location. Casey was driving the black SUV and the SUV was full of weapons, armor, gear… My eyes flickered as I saw a sign in the distance. An older man in his fifties was pointing his thumb up with a devilish smile. On the bottom the word <em>Delaney <em>stood, which didn't say me much, so instead of giving it much thought I shrugged as we passed the sign. The tracking device started beeping, indicating that Chuck's phone was just ten meters away. But as I looked at the empty, deserted road, my heart sunk.

"What's the word Walker!" Casey said , looking at the tracking device.

"Stop!" I said as the tracking device went to zero meters. Casey slammed the breaks and the car stopped making me fall forward and then slam hard against the seat.

I took off my seat belt and jumped out of the SUV unto the road. My short heels slammed against the asphalt road and I really hoped that I hadn't cracked my heel. Taking two steps forward, feeling that nothing had happened, I sighed in relief. But the relief didn't last long as I saw Chuck's phone on the ground. I ran toward the phone and picked it up and looked at the cracked screen. It displayed all my and Casey's missed calls.

On the verge of tears, I showed Casey the screen.

"Walker, don't give up. His kidnappers have only a few hours head-start. We can still find him!" Casey was overly optimistic for being Casey. Maybe he felt guilty that he had failed at his job to protect Chuck, or the Intersect…

But well, I didn't waste much time. This time I jumped behind the wheel and Casey jumped in the back of the SUV where the computers, tracing/tracking devices were.

"This's an abandoned motorway, so they must have kept going since it's one sided." I started the SUV and hit the gas pedal hard.

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><p>We drove down the abandoned highway without a clue where Fulcrum had taken Chuck. As soon as I had jumped back into the SUV we had called Beckman.<p>

_"__Walker?" Beckman scolded, she wasn't in a good mood- which was expected since we had lost Chuck._

_"__We've found his phone. Fulcrum has Chuck. His cover's been blown." Casey said before I managed to speak up. I didn't want to even think about it- but it was true. It was the truth. I had let Chuck down, he was never going to come back again- he would never be the same. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't afford to drive off the road causing an accident, so I stroke away any potential tears and gathered myself. _

_"__I'm going to alarm all organizations to go out and look for him. Mayor, Walker, since there aren't any leads on Chuck…" _

_"__General, wait. Chuck was kidnapped by Jill Roberts. This means that Jill must know where Chuck is being held, if we find Jill we will find Chuck." I was surprised at the confident my voice illuminated. Beckman arched a brow._

_"__What are you suggesting Walker?" _

_"__Get some teams looking for Jill." _

Beckman had ordered Casey and me to look for Jill, which was the best option we had for now. While Casey tried his best to keep updated on any news he did all he could to track down Jill. I opened up a window so that the wind tangled my blonde hair.

Beneath my breath, so low that Casey couldn't hear, I whispered the following words:

"_Chuck, I'm going to keep my promise. Just please, remain the same_."

* * *

><p>About ten sleepless hours later, Casey grunted as he looked at some screens back in Castle. We had given up the hope of following Chuck's kidnappers since it was impossible on the end of that highway to follow any leads. Beckman had some hours earlier gotten the permission from the president himself to get hold of some satellites that had shoot some photos of the area Chuck had been abducted. Apparently she had claimed that a top secret government property had been stolen. I didn't like when people objectified Chuck- it was like he wasn't even a real person in some people's eyes.<p>

"What is it Casey?" I managed to ask after clearing my thoughts.

"Beckman sent some photos of the area where Chuck's abduction took place." My heart skipped a beat. Maybe there was some hope after all…

"It's not really clear photo's, but I can see that there's Jill's car and a dark SUV parked by the spot we found Chuck's phone." I walked over to the screen and saw the pictures Casey was talking about.

Indeed, there was a dark car from top view and a dark SUV.

"We've got her license plate number right?" I asked.

"Yeah, but she could still have switched plates."

"Or she hasn't had the time. I will run her license plate and look for the last reported, recorded location." Casey nodded and I hurried over to the computers to hopefully find something.

* * *

><p>Chuck had been missing for three days and Ellie had been calling me the whole day. I was reluctant to answer because I just couldn't come up with a good lie. Three days was too much and I knew that. A lot could've happened in 72 hours. My head was a mess and I couldn't help but stare at that stupid screen in front of me down in Castle. I had run down a search for Jill's license plate and the tracking took a lot of time, too much time, I should add. It took more time than usual, which did no good for the bad feeling in my guts.<p>

After a while Beckman appeared on the screen.

"Mayor Casey, agent Walker, it's been three days and yet, none of what known, government secrets have been compromised."

"What does this mean?" Casey said. Hopefully Fulcrum hadn't done any harm to Chuck yet. Maybe Chuck was still transported… but that still wasn't any good.

"It means that we need to get even more teams searching. Walker, have you found out where Jill's hiding?"

"No general, the system is still running." I gazed at the other screen confirming that the computer was tracking Jill.

"Keep searching, I want the Intersect in our custody."

"You mean in a bunker?" I couldn't help but say, why did the government have to objectify Chuck all the time? He was still a human being, he had human rights.

"It's for his best." She ended the call and I was left staring at the dark screen.

_Don't you care about Chuck?!_ I wanted to scream back, but I bit my tongue, knowing it would do no good.

I walked back to the computer and sunk down in one of those uncomfortable black chairs, resting my head against my palm.

"You know, staring at a screen all day won't get Chuck back." Casey said behind me. I spun around in the chair hopeless.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" I said.

"Get it together Walker; you're nearly as bad as that nerd who sits ten hours straight playing videogames with his moron-friend." Did Casey just try to cheer me up? Wow, I must look like a mess.

"I just can't believe that I let him out of my sight." I sighed and stood up from the chair.

"You're not the only who failed your job, Walker." Like that was going to make me feel better…

"You look like a mess, why don't you go and grab a coffee? I will watch the surveillance." I swallowed and thought about it for a second. I needed to stay in shape if we were going to save Chuck.

"Fine", I faked a smile and walked toward the stairs.

"But if you…"

"…see anything I will call you." Casey finished taking my place by the computer.

I hated this, I wasn't used to being helpless. All I could think about was to save Chuck, but I couldn't because there were no leads.

* * *

><p>On my way out to escape Castle, I realized that Ellie must be sick-worried. It was just a matter of time before she called the cops. I fished out my phone out of my pocket and looked at the twenty missed calls from Ellie.<p>

Ellie had to be dealt with, soon. But I really hoped that I didn't have to because Chuck's abduction by Fulcrum would be even more real. And if we couldn't find Chuck… I would have to tell Ellie that he died, and I could never bring myself to do that.

I just hoped for a miracle, and that miracle was to save Chuck.


	3. Three: Lost

Three: Lost

**Note 1:** Please review, I really appreciate it!

**Note 2:** Thank you guys for reviewing! And sorry for eventual grammar errors! ;P

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><p>"You know Chuck… In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away", Morgan said with a smug smile while we walked down the pavement toward my home.<p>

In return of his brainy quote I grinned.

"You found that online, didn't you?"

"No… okay yes." He shook his head and I laughed.

"Oh Morgan, one day you will grow wise, but today is not the day." I didn't want to mean or anything like that, it was just a joke but Morgan's smile faded, so I placed my right hand on his shoulder.

"Ah, cheer up Morgan, you're as wise as it gets."

* * *

><p>I cracked my eyes open and was met by a white ceiling. It took me a moment to realize that I wasn't at home. I was at a Fulcrum facility in Detroit, not in Burbank. I sat up in the bed and then I swung my legs over the bed and then I jumped up unto the floor.<p>

The dream, I had dreamt about Morgan, an old memory.

Memories of the old days were what kept me going nowadays.

I went to the bathroom, did my stuff and then cleaned up; I swiped a yellow towel around my waist and looked at the mirror on my right side. Two weeks and counting I had been in this facility. My cheek bones had started to slightly show and I had lost some weight. Well, they hadn't really fed me with restaurant food. I mostly got some salad and bread, then some vitamin pills.

I walked back into my prison-bedroom and dressed in my prisoner clothing: nerd heard outfit. A white shirt and some dark pants, as if it wasn't enough there was a grey tie the drawer.

I still couldn't figure out why they wanted me to wear this- maybe they wanted to prove that they knew every detail about me. Maybe they thought it was a fun sick joke.

I collapsed down in my bed and I felt the hard bed sheets slam against my spine.

I felt hopeless nowadays, because honestly, three weeks and no progress. I couldn't face the fact that Sarah hadn't found me. How did Ellie feel? How did Morgan feel? I just wanted to talk to anybody but a Fulcrum agent. I didn't care who it was, hell I'd be glad to meet Jeff of all people. I had been having nightmares, I couldn't remember them clearly, but I woke up in what I presumed night and screamed.

There was no Ellie, Sarah or Devon to run into the room to calm me down- there was just me.

Me and my panting breath, scanning the dark room for possible threats.

Since the threat Bad doc had made towards Ellie, I had told them that I'd do anything as long as Ellie stayed out of harm's way.

Apparently they agreed.

They tranquilized me for two days and the third day they left me alone in my bunker. I had a TV screen but I didn't have a laptop or a console. The only thing left for me to do was to drown in my mind. Because no one can truly escape their mind, trust me, I've tried.

The fourth day bad doc led me into that white room with that long table. He ordered me to flash on some cards linked to Fulcrum; it was harder for me than usual to flash. Bad doc had seemed impatient as I had taken my time and threw out some threats about killing Morgan if I didn't flash. Luckily I managed in the end of the day to do that.

The flash was about something called AGRA.

AGRA was some sort of an organization hunting down Fulcrum. Among those flash cards, locations of some buildings had displayed.

What I knew was following:

Fulcrum was hunted by AGRA.

These AGRA-buildings lay in Detroit.

There was also something about 'the ring' in my flash, which I didn't really comprehend, but the bad doc seemed pleased as he got his answers.

Although they hadn't ordered me to flash on any top-secret CIA/FBI/NSA files… yet.

Today was the fifth day since I had woken up. That meant that I had been held in Fulcrums custody for two and a half week. _Weeks._

"Where are you Sarah?" I didn't mean to say it out loud. I quickly bit my tongue, preventing my mind from uttering another word.

For all I know they could use that particular sentence to twist my mind.

They were constantly watching, monitoring my every move.

I was tired emotionally, mentally and psychically. In fact, I was starting to lose hope.

I walked back to my bed, not seeing anything else to do.

* * *

><p>"Chuck, Chuckles, time to wake up." I slowly opened my eyes and was met by the staring vulture, Bad doc.<p>

"We are going to do some tests, so I need you to get up from your bed. If you don't I will have to get the guards." I simply nodded and climbed out of the bed. We walked toward the door that separated my 'cell' or 'bunker' from the corridor. Bad doc slid his key-card down the key-card lock on the right side of the door. The LED light flashed green, confirming access and Bad doc opened the door.

The lock was impossible to lock pick or destroy, so I couldn't get out of the cell without a key-card.

We stepped out into the white, dull, corridor. Bad doc took me by surprise when he went left. Since I didn't want to be threatened, tortured or tranquilized, I just followed him down the corridor. We were going further away from the long table room toward an opposite direction.

The doors here were made of steal and all of them had keycard locks.

"So, does your keycard open all of the doors?" I couldn't help but ask. I knew that it was a bad idea to even utter a word, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Eh, no. Now, if you say another word I will have the guards escort you. You want that?" It was more of a rhetorical question. Although, when I thought about it, I hadn't really seen any guards at all. But I guess that they were hiding in the camera-guard room something.

My heart skipped a beat when I suddenly caught the sight of a shining green 'exit' sign. It was a door made of grey steal and on its right side a lock with numbers was placed. The lock looked like one of those locks buildings usually have, the one where you have to punch in a code. Maybe I could get out of here if I got the code?

"Don't even let that thought cross your mind, Chuck." I swallowed and looked down at my dark socks.

"There's no way you're getting out of here Chuck. The code changes daily, besides, you wouldn't get far even if you would manage to get through that door." We kept walking down the corridor that didn't seem to have an end and I watched with painful eyes as we walked further away from the door.

I needed a plan. I needed to get out of here. A small hope, a small flame, lit up in my heart. Maybe I could get out of here.

After a few doors Bad doc finally reached his destination and I watched as he used his keycard to open the door.

I hadn't expected to be met by this. The room was quadratic, white and not too big but not too small. It looked like a small clinic. There were three people, dressed in dark uniforms that I assumed to be guards, standing by the wall. In the middle of the room a bed that looked to belong to a hospital stood.

"What's going on?" My body stiffened and my heart pounded rapidly.

Shock made my feet's glue into the floor and I watched as two of the guards ran towards me and grabbed my shoulders.

Adrenaline and reflexes caught up to me and I used all my strength, every muscle, I fought with everything I had to get out of their cold grip.

All I saw was the inclosing bed.

What would they do to me? What was going on? I don't want this. Stop.

"Let me go! Just let me go!" It was real bad. I didn't know what they would do.

I felt as a sharp needle penetrated my flesh on my upper arm and my adrenalin faded away. All my strength faded and my breath evened out.

They shoved me down into the bed.

They were drugging me. They were…

* * *

><p>I sat on my bed in my cell with my arms around my knees and my head hid in my knees. My head still hurt and I wanted to die.<p>

They had forced my eyes open, back in that room and made me watch pictures, quite similar to the Intersects, but these pictures were… different. It was hard to explain, but all I was currently aware of was the headache. I don't think that they would give me something for my headache even if I begged for it.

I needed to get out of here. That 'exit' sign had given me hope and I was pretty sure that I could circuit that lock that separated me from this cell and my freedom. What worried me was the 'you won't get far even if you manage to walk through that door'.

But I ignored that; it would be my problem for later. What I needed now was to form a plan; I needed to get out on my own since the CIA or whatever government was failing at it.

I was on my own.

When I managed to get through that door, I would run to find a phone. But first problem first, I needed to get my hands on a keycard and a screwdriver. The screwdriver would help me to remove the code from the wall and turn around the lock so that I was facing the wires. But question was; how would I get out of here? The door required a keycard to open. Maybe I could steal it from Bad doc…

And right in that second I didn't believe but _knew_ that I would get out.

* * *

><p>Three weeks and counting, it had taken me four days to make up a plan. I had been in this bunker for three weeks and three weeks too long. I was going to get out.<p>

Two days back, I had managed to get the hand on a screw driver.

Back in that big white table room where I usually flashed on the Fulcrum cards, Bad doc's laptop had broken down.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_Oh, I could help you with that."_

_"__Why?"_

_"__Please can I fix the computer? Since you abducted me I've felt… I just want to feel normal. Please, could you let me fix the computer? It's what I was born to do." The last part sounded a bit cliché but I put up a begging smile. I needed a screwdriver and this was the perfect opportunity. _

_After a long silence, Bad doc nodded._

_"__What do you need?"_

_"__Can you get me some screwdrivers?" _

_He brought me about twenty screwdrivers all in different sizes. At a point he looked away and I took the opportunity to snatch one of the smaller once and hide it in my pocket. I knew that there were cameras and people around me, but I just hoped that no one had noticed._

_Of course I had thought about the fact of stealing his computer, but that probably wouldn't work because he would tranquillize me before I even manage to hit ctrl+alt+del._

* * *

><p>All I needed now was a keycard. I could put the screwdriver to Bad doc's neck and threat him that I would kill him if he didn't give me his keycard… I really didn't want to do this but I had to. It was my only option. I was starting to go insane… I shook my head and I cleared my mind.<p>

First thing first: I needed to get rid of the cameras.

There were a total of five cameras in the room. If I covered them with my prison clothes, someone wouldbe sent in; I guess it would be Bad doc since he's the only one that had encountered with me.

So I set my plan in motion. I systematically pulled out clothes from the wardrobe and I started to cover all cameras with shirts and my jeans. I knew that there were bugs placed all around the room but I knew that it would be impossible to find all of them so I let them be. I hurried over to the door and hid on the right side of the door, so when the door opened, I could grab the person that went in directly.

My palms started sweating; they would be inside my cell any minute.

The door flung open and Bad doc was just about to walk in, his foot stepped into the room and then he was centimeters away from me. I quickly grabbed the small screwdriver between my two fingers and I could feel its sharpness slid down my palm as I turned it around to get a better grip of it.

I didn't know how to fight, the only 'move' that I actually knew was 'the Morgan', but that wasn't going to get me far. My eyes swiped down to his hand where I noticed his tranquillize gun. I needed him unarmed.

"What's going on?" he said as he turned his gaze towards me.

I didn't waste any second longer and I kicked his leg, (he was standing sideways).

I had taken him by surprise which bought me time to shoot down my hand and grab his gun. I had his gun! Realization hit me and I fumbled with the gun just to get a better grip of it and fired three shots at him. I was happy that it was a tranquilizer gun and not a real gun because I don't think that I'd be able to shoot the man otherwise.

All of this happened in the matter of seconds.

Bad doc collapsed down unto the ground and I think that he mumbled something in the lines of:

"You will regret this."

I bent down and searched his pockets, in his inner pocket my fingertips hit a flat plastic object and I used my middle and index finger as tweezers to get it out.

I didn't waste time to study the white keycard's picture and I rose from the floor with the gun and the keycard. In the blink of an eye I realized that I had dropped the screwdriver so I also picked it up and hid it in my pocket.

I ran out of the room and closed the door, locking Bad doc in, in case if he would wake up too soon.

I was panting and I didn't care. I felt the adrenaline rush as I ran down the corridor with the key card in my left hand and the gun in my right.

I kept running and running until I saw the green 'exit' sign.

Now I didn't know if there were going to be guards storming this place, but I didn't have another choice than to hurry the hell up with the circuiting. I managed to get the lock with the red LED lamp off the wall with the screwdriver and turn it around, so that I faced all the green, red and blue wires. I put the screwdriver between my teeth's and I picked up one of the green wires and connected it to a blue wire. I connected it, I disconnected it and I repeated the process until I heard a click. I turned around the lock to see that the LED lamp flashed green.

I didn't have the courage to think of success. I opened the door and I was met by stairs, not thinking twice I made the run for it. I kept running up the stairs and I was surprised that my stamina hadn't defeated me yet. On top of the stairs I was faced to an elevator.

_Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. _I pushed the elevator button and the doors to the elevators opened. I stepped into it and I pushed ground level. Now, the elevator only had two buttons, one for the ground level and one for the basement.

I took a deep, shallow breath and my heart was pounding rapidly. _I was going to get out. I was going to get out. _I couldn't afford to think that I could be stopped just by the exit door. I noticed that this elevator didn't have a camera which was a bit strange… A whole minute passed and I started to feel anxious.

Then, the elevator doors opened.

I was yet in a new corridor, only that this corridor was different. It looked like one of those corridors any office or regular buildings had. The doors were made of glass and there, in front of me a door made of glass hinted even more stairs. I ran down the corridor and I noticed a phone in one of the offices. I stopped.

The corridor was empty and I didn't know if I could even get out of here. No, grabbing the phone on my way to an attempted escape was the best solution.

So I went into the office to get the phone and I dialed Sarah. Because Sarah could find me. I knew she could.

But to my breaking heart, the phone didn't work. My heart sunk and I placed back the phone unto the desk. But in the same room, that looked to be taken directly out of 'The office', a cell phone laid on the floor.

I picked it up and glanced it quickly to see that there wasn't a signal. I swallowed and hid the cellphone into my jeans pocket and I ran out of the room and headed for the stairs.

On level five I fished up my phone while running and I saw that I had one bar. I stopped, my breath stuck in my throat as I tried to dial Sarah. _Sarah pick up, please pick up, _my mind was screaming.

"Hello?" I wanted to answer; I wanted to scream for her to help me. I needed her.

But I kept running up to the top of the stairs.

This corridor looked like the one bellow, only that this one was filled with people. I dropped the phone and shooting pain flashed through my mind.

Images, images of Fulcrum agents went through my mind and the next thing I know I collapsed against a wall as I kept flashing.

**FULCRUM AGENT ANGELINE ARGENT, ASSASSIN.**

**FULCRUM AGENT JONES SMITH, DOCTOR.**

**FULCRUM AGENT ROSE CAFFREY, HIT MAN.**

**FULCRUM AGENT ELISE HEMINGWAY, THIEF.**

I felt my spine slide down the wall and suddenly there were about four people in front of me and I could hear as someone cracked the phone by stomping their heel on the screen.

Maybe it was the headache, maybe it was the exhaustion, whatever it was, it made me drift into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>I cracked my eyes open and I tried to adjust my eyes to the new surrounding. I wasn't met by the usual white ceiling; I was met by a grey ceiling- unfamiliar to the one in my bunker.<p>

"What's…" I managed to focus my vision and my breathing stopped.

They had stuffed me in one of those rooms made of white mattresses. The room was round and its walls and floor was covered in white mattresses. _No. _I thought. This was it. My escape attempt had failed and I had been put in a room made for crazy people.

There was also a camera on the ceiling, of course.

My whole 'room' was a bed. My lungs pleaded for oxygen so I gasped for air. I looked down at my body to see that I was still wearing the same outfit, minus the tie. I guess that they were afraid that I could use the tie as a weapon…

No, I felt hazy and I needed to shake off this feeling. I rose from the floor and now when I got a better look of the room, I actually couldn't see the door.

This room lacked of a bathroom. Was this their way of punishing me? Well, I guess that it was. I didn't know what to do or think, I needed to calm down; so I went for a walk in the five meter in diameter circle. I just walked around, my fingers sliding along the cushions, trying to find a crack.

After twenty rounds, I hadn't found any.

* * *

><p>I had no idea how much time it had passed. For all I know it could have been from one hour to eight hours. I leaned my back against one of the round 'walls' with my eyes closed.<p>

I had at least managed to call Sarah within the attempted escape. Too bad I hadn't told her the exact location or stayed right where I was when I had gotten the signal. My mind had only headed for one goal: to escape.

Hopefully Sarah would find me; maybe my failed escape attempt hadn't been for vain…

* * *

><p>A loud, constant ringing broke off my thoughts. The sound was familiar to a fire alarm, but even louder. I couldn't help but to cover my ears with my hands.<p>

_What was going on?_

One of the cushions suddenly moved, revealing an opening door. A loud voice from the corridor kept yelling; "**_Security breech!"_**

Realization hit me._ Had Sarah found me? _

I raised my gaze toward the person's eyes in front of me and my breathing stopped as it wasn't Bad doc standing in the doorway.


	4. Four: Leads

**Note 1: **This turned into a longer chapter than I intended to, haha ^^ Oh, and sorry for the wait guys, been real busy!

**Note 2: **Review is love… review is love…

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><p><strong><em>S<em>****_arah_**

I was in front of Ellie's door. I was about to tell her that Chuck was dead. I couldn't believe myself for doing this, Chuck would hate me.

Beckman and Graham believed that Chuck may be dead since no top secret government files had been leaked.

I didn't know what I thought, but I didn't think that Chuck was gone just yet. He couldn't be. This, going through this door to tell Ellie… Those were straight orders from Beckman and I couldn't disobey them because I would be burned and Casey would be monitoring the room. If I didn't do this I would be off this case, fired. And if I got fired, I wouldn't see Chuck again. I needed to find him, I needed to bring him back to Ellie somehow, even if Ellie thought that he was dead.

"Walker, get in there." Casey said through the earpiece, Casey actually sounded quite sad, which I hadn't witnessed for a great while.

I knew that I was lingering by the door; stalling, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to do this, I sighed and then I finally knocked on the door.

* * *

><p>Shortly after I delivered the news to Ellie, Devon had walked clueless into the living room. Ellie jumped up and ran into his arms, accepting his embrace. Ellie cried into Devon's shoulder and then Devon looked over at me, there were still some tears left on my cheeks. It hadn't hit me until now but the tears were real. It hurt me to do this to Chuck's family, hell; they were the closest thing I've had to a family in a long time.<p>

"What's going on? What's happened?" Devon sounded scared.

Oh god, Chuck would have to have a funeral.

"I need to go." I excused myself and escaped the scene, feeling Devon's puzzled eyes burn my back.

I headed to Casey's apartment. Chuck would never have his life back, he would be forced into yet another bunker. That's why I received those orders. That's why I had to lie to Ellie, but was it really a lie? Because imprisoned in a bunker didn't seem much of a life to me.

I opened the door and walked into Casey's living room.

I found him staring at one of the computer screens.

"We've got her." His voice was surprisingly low.

"Jill?" His nod was my cue and I didn't see a reason for me to just stand here. I ran over to Casey's weapons and took two guns, Casey followed my lead and we ran toward the car. We jumped into the Van and I let Casey drive since he knew the location.

"She's still in Burbank." He said as we hit the road, driving over 100 km/h. I loaded my gun and secured it.

She wouldn't get away with this, when I found her… Twisted thoughts crossed my mind and looked over at Casey to see that he thought the same.

One week and no leads- until now.

* * *

><p>"Is she inside?" I asked as Casey slammed the breaks, making us both flung forward untill our seatbelt stopped us, making our heads hit the seats.<p>

"Yeah." I jumped out of the car and slightly bent my knees as I landed on the asphalt. We were in front of a motel, there were tall buildings all around and this place didn't seem to look so special.

"So, her car turned up?" I asked seeing Jill's car blended in on the other side of the street. There was back up coming, Casey and I would need to capture and detain her. Maybe even get some information before she was in the interrogation room back in castle.

"Let's get her." Casey said while sliding elegantly his palm over the gun, loading it.

We ran into the motel and by the disk a young girl, no older than eighteen, sat in front of the computer with a frightened look as she saw the two of us barge in with guns.

"NSA, we need the list of everyone that's booked a room here from two days ago." Casey said while showing his badge for the young puzzled girl.

"Okay." She managed to stammer as she typed some words on the computer, less than a minute later she turned around the screen, showing us three people that had booked a room. Two of them were men, the third was a women.

"Okay, room 201." I said and Casey and I took off.

We ran down the corridor and soon we reached the room number, if Jill was in that room right now; she wouldn't have a way to escape.

I kicked in the door, steadying my gun, ready to shoot if it came to it.

The door gave in and I stepped in, pointing my gun to my left and right.

And there she was, by the bed she stood hovered over a suitcase. Her eyes shone of shock and I saw how she slowly tried to reach for something, what I suspected to be a gun, from her suitcase.

"Jill, don't!" before I had the time to utter another word Casey shoved his gun against Jill's neck. Casey was as pissed off as I and Jill wouldn't be handled carefully.

"Don't even think about it." I heard Casey comment as Jill dropped her arms.

"Turn around." She did reluctant as she was asked and Casey grabbed a pair of handcuffs from his jeans pocket. I smiled, not because I was happy nor that we had caught Jill. I was just satisfied that we had finally found a lead- a lead that would hopefully lead us to Chuck.

* * *

><p>We were back in Castle and I looked at Jill through the interrogation window.<p>

Jill wore a red shirt along with a pair of dark blue jeans. Her dark hair was down and a few strands of her hair lay misplaced over her face. She hadn't put on much make up, just some mascara, powder and pink lipstick. She sat with her legs crossed and her elbows and arms resting against the glass table. She tapped her fingertips across the table, playing a sound similar to drums. She bit her lower lip and she kept staring at the glass table. I could see it in her eyes and on her behavior- she knew that she was screwed.

Meanwhile Casey and I were waiting for a prisoner van to transport Jill to a secure location; we had the time to interrogate her.

Casey walked into the interrogation room and sat down in front of her, he wore his usual casual outfit; a dark shirt along with somewhat dark pants.

He rested his elbows against the table and I saw as Jill's expression faltered as she looked into Casey's eyes. I couldn't quite see Casey's face so I took a few steps to the right to get a better view of his expression. I couldn't get a good look of his face, but of what I saw, he was really pissed. It was like one of his mad faces but ten times worse.

Just minutes ago we had cleared up that he would be playing bad cop and I would be good cop.

Now when I thought about it, maybe it had been a mistake, because I didn't think that I would stand out to be in the same room as her and not attack her.

Casey turned his head around and I saw as he nodded at me to come in, and I did.

"Where's Chuck?" I said as soon as I sat down beside Casey.

"Why would I tell you? As soon as I tell you, I'll be in prison." I smiled a threatening smile, placing my arms over the table, looking strictly into her brown eyes.

"Jill, you're going to tell me where Chuck is."

"I can't."

I rose from the chair and slammed my fist on the table, staring at her furiously.

"Dammit Jill! You kidnapped Chuck! You took, no, _destroyed _his life! All you can do now is to tell us where he is so that we can clean your mess!" my words didn't seem to do more than scratch her.

"It wasn't like that…" I walked around the table towards her, with my fingers sliding along the table.

"Wasn't like that? Jill, wake up! How could you do this? How could you do this to his family?!" I wanted answers, I wanted the truth, but most of all I wanted Chuck.

Jill sighed but didn't break the eye contact.

"I don't know where he is."

"The hell you don't!" This wasn't going to work. Me, good cop? Scratch that.

I pulled out my knife from my pocket, as she saw the knife between my fingers her eyes widened.

"My only orders were to bring you to castle, CIA, NSA; they won't care if their delivery's a _bit_ scratched." I looked back to see Casey's warning look, but I didn't care. She was going to talk. I spun the knife around and then I pointed it towards Jill.

"I have a whole day with you, you're going to talk, because everyone has a pain-limit."

* * *

><p>I can't say that I was proud of what I had done; I was slowly falling back on my old track, the "previous Walker." My methods back in the day hadn't been… moral, but I just did what had to be done.<p>

I had moved Jill to another room; my hard grip had left a red mark around her arm as I had cast her down in one of the cells.

Casey hadn't approved of my methods, but he hadn't really stopped me- because he wanted to get Chuck back as much as I wanted to.

I had punched her and I had cut her, she held out for a good couple of hours, which I admired- but I would never say that out loud of course.

When I had finally hit her final nerve, she had broken down in a _stop. _

And now here she was, finally broken. _Everybody talks… _

"They threatened to kill my sister if I didn't give them Chuck." She panted. Sister? Since when did she have a sister?

"Your sister?"  
>"Yes! I had no other choice than to save her."<p>

"Why haven't you mentioned her before?" in response she scoffed.

"I was only trying to protect her! And I know that I had to give up Chuck- I'm not proud of my choices, but family comes first. Blood is thicker than water. Not that you would know…" was she trying to insult me? Before I had realized it myself, I had slapped her. Her right cheek gained a pink color.

"Continue." She arched a brow and her gaze wandered around the room. She realized after a while that it didn't matter if she talked now or later. Her punishment would remain the same. I wish that I could just read her mind, because then I wouldn't need to waste time on a lost cause.

"Fine." Her look found mine and her cold eyes bored into mine.

"Two Fulcrum agents showed up at my door, they showed me pictures and videos of my sister at her dorm. They told me that they could kill her any minute. They knew her name, her address; they knew where she hung out on her spare time… They said that they would _kill her _if I didn't deliver them Chuck. Sarah, I didn't have a choice." I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of sympathy for her, but I quickly shook it off as I reminded myself that the very person had kidnapped Chuck- taken his life.

"There's always a choice!" No, this was what she wanted; she was stalling, making me agitated.

"Just tell me where Chuck is." She eyed me annoyed and she twinned her fingers.

"The agents told me to deliver Chuck in the desert", if I hadn't known which desert she was talking about, I'd push her for more details, but I didn't want to interrupt her.

"So, in the desert I met the two fulcrum agents, and we made the exchange."

"The exchange?"

"Yeah, they brought their computer with all their information they had on my sister and an empty promise that they would forget about her, that they would call off their hit man´s."

"And you believed them?"

"I didn't have a choice." She kept stalling; I was so annoyed that I wanted to punch her again.

"Jill. Where is Chuck?"

"I honestly don't know, but, there's something."

"What?" My patience had extinguished a long time ago.

"He's still in America. I overheard the men talking about bringing Chuck northeast."

"That's all?"

"Near the coast! They also mentioned something about water." My eyes narrowed.

"There's water everywhere."

"No, more like a sea." I gave her a death threatening look.

"I swear that's all I know!" I took a few steps back as I realized what I had just heard. With this information I could narrow down the search to a smaller area in America. There were still a lot of places to scavenge, but hell I had finally found a lead. _I had a lead._ I ran out of the room, leaving Jill tied to a chair in the middle of the room. I heard the door close behind me and Casey was quick to turn around in his black chair as I entered the room.

"Casey, we can narrow down the search to northeast of America, along the coast, near sea." Casey raised a brow.

"We might actually find him." I raced toward the computers and my fingertips danced along the keyboard, trying their hardest to find Chuck.

"Come on, come on." I mumbled as I kept looking. _I'm going to find you Chuck. Just hold on._

* * *

><p>Three days later, after eight cups of coffee just over midnight, I had finally gotten a hit.<p>

* * *

><p>Three days ago Jill had been sent to a CIA facility, only god knew what was going to happen to her. I had gotten what I wanted, so I didn't really care about Jill. Her name hadn't slipped my mind more than three times these last three days. But now when I had finally narrowed down my search and finally <em>found him<em>, I couldn't help but slip a quiet "thank you".

"Casey!" I yelled as I rose up from the computer, Casey rushed into the room; his eyes flickered toward the computer screen. I couldn't help but slip a smile.

"I've found him." Just as I said that, my phone buzzed.

"Shit." I said as I saw the reminder my phone displayed.

"What?"

"Chuck's funeral's in an hour."

"You should go, to maintain the cover."  
>"Oh! We haven't been this close to finding him! I mean, he might be there, but he might also not be. But we need to come up with right tactic if he's held in that building, that could take days. And even if it's Chuck's fake funeral, I need to be there to maintain my cover."<p>

"I will call Beckman and I will make up tactics, go." I had found him, I had found the location where the dark SUV had parked and then been hidden. It was a high chance that Chuck would be there, and if he was, I would finally find him. I would bring him home- if it was the last thing I did.

The only thing that I hated was that we couldn't move in right away. We needed to clear the area and then gather a SWAT force, which could take days, plus we needed a solid plan: all of this could take from a couple of days to a week. I just hoped that Chuck could stay alive for just a few days.

If this operation would fail, and the building would turn up empty, I'd lose my badge. Because "wasting resources" is punishable by the government, or Beckman to say.

All of this went through my head as I reached my apartment and locked the door behind me.

* * *

><p>The whole ceremonial had been sad. We were outside in the graveyard. Many flowers were stashed around the place and beside Chuck's casket a big picture of him stood on an easel. There was a big bouquet of maybe hundreds of flowers placed in a vase made of blue glass under that picture. I glanced left to see Morgan wearing new black suit, which surprised me a bit since I didn't think that he actually owned a suit. Ellie and Devon stood just next to Morgan, holding hands. Ellie had a white napkin in her other hand pressed just beneath her eye, wiping away her tears. I faked my tears so that I would melt in, because I didn't want to look like one of those psychopathic girlfriends. I glanced forward, to see the dark casket that was "supposingly" holding Chuck's body- I actually had no idea of what was in that thing. I looked back at his family to see redness fill Morgan's eyes and then tears started to fall down his cheeks. Devon didn't seem to look any better, all he did was to try and comfort Ellie by putting his arm over Ellie's shoulder. There were a lot of Chuck's friends here and it was just sad to watch all of this happening.<p>

Soon- I would soon find Chuck. I just needed to get through this thing. I needed to bring Chuck back.

* * *

><p>When the ceremony was over, I walked out of the graveyard to my car. It had been a few exhausting couple of hours and I was somewhat relieved that this was over.<p>

Just as I reached my car, I felt someone's hand grip my arm. I took a deep shallow breath, ready to pull out my gun from my purse. Better safe than sorry- yes, I had brought a gun to a funeral.

"Sarah."

My eyes flickered to the person next to me and when I met his eyes I couldn't breathe. My heart started pounding rapidly and I just couldn't think of anything to say except,

"Bryce?" he hadn't changed. His hair was as brown as chocolate and his eyes deep ocean blue. His hair had grown a bit and he wore a black suit along with a dark blue tie.

"Is it true?" I swallowed, this was hard to process. Why was he back?

"What is?" I was just too shocked to think.

"That Chuck's gone?" Realization finally hit me and I looked into his sad devastated eyes. I didn't know what to tell him. It was top secret information that Chuck was missing- but the 'top secrecy' hadn't stopped Chuck from getting abducted by the people that wanted what was in his head. Screw the government, screw them all. If anyone could help Chuck, it was Bryce Larkin.

After lingering for a while, I shook my head slightly. I didn't think that we were being watched- but you never know.

"If he isn't, then why did you do this to his family Sarah?" I didn't have a good answer to that.

"Chuck's been abducted by Fulcrum. He's been missing for three weeks- It was direct orders."

Bryce seemed distrustful at first, but then he frowned.

"No." he said as he looked down at the ground.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." His eyes found their way back into mine.

"I know." I sighed as I fumbled to come up with words, but then I remembered the tactic plan that I needed to set in motion.

"Bryce, I'm sorry but I have to go."

"Where", he said.

"I'm sorry. I'll explain later, I need to get going." I opened the car door and I was just about to get into the car as I turned my face toward him once more, my blonde, a little too long hair fell over my eyes.

"It was good to see you." He seemed startled. What did he expect? A kiss? A hug? A poem? Some nicely thought out words? No, I didn't have time or energy for this reunion and his questions. I really didn't know where Bryce and I stood anymore; Bryce Larkin was an unraveled mystery.

As he saw me get into the car, I heard his voice falter,

"Goodbye Sarah."

* * *

><p>The dark SUV truck was full of SWAT operatives. There was a total of five SUV'S on a row sliding down the road- all in hurry to save Chuck Bartowski.<p>

I was sitting in the middle of the back of the truck, with dark heavy armor and a gun. I had two tranquilize guns strapped to my belt and about ten smoke bombs.

We would soon reach the destination, we had been driving for a good couple of hours and now it only remained a few minutes.

I eyed Casey that sat across of me, who was dangerously armed and had the same amount of armor as I.

"If everything goes as accorded to the plan, Bartowski will be just fine." I didn't need his reassuring- but it did make me feel better. I nodded and reloaded my gun for the twentieth time.

Chuck was going to be okay. _Never make promises you can't keep. _I would keep my promise, if it was the last thing I did. I would go through hell and back only to find him and keep him safe.

The truck stopped and I caught Casey's eyes.

"Let's get him back." In return he grunted and then he nodded. I bent down and I picked up my helmet- also dark, and put it over my head. . The helmet was a bit too small and its glass a bit misty- the helmet reminded me of a motorcycle helmet, only ten times harder. Casey followed my steps and then I rose in the a bit too tight truck. I saw as the SWAT team jumped out of the truck and grouped a few meters away from the truck.

Casey and I approached the small group and we didn't waste more time. I looked at the tall building and I counted my breaths to calm down.

_Chuck, just hold on._

* * *

><p>One of the SWAT's squad kicked in the door and Casey, four others and I rushed in. My tranquilize guns flapped against my belt as I ran down the corridor. Our mission was to breach the building- we didn't need a warrant when we had the government's permission.<p>

No one was in plain sight as we passed the reception and headed down the corridor. Some hard core techs had covered some cams from this building and they had come up with the following fact:

_Chuck wasn't anywhere over floor 1._

This building had about eight floors below ground level- this meant that Chuck could be on any of those floors.

_Why _fulcrum agents wanted to stash _the_ Intersect in some random building underground in USA and not in some abandoned house somewhere in the desert was still an unsolved question to me. I grabbed a smoke bomb from my left pocket- I didn't really have time to think about these things right now. I needed to clear my mind.

We had reached the end of the corridor and there was a door made of steel in front of us, on its right a keycard lock was placed. Casey swiped a manipulated card over it and it flashed green. I nodded approvingly for Casey to open the door, just as he had a few centimeters opening; I threw in my smoke bomb and Casey quickly closed the door. Now, the smoke bomb didn't only blur the vision for those who were nearby- the smoke bomb contained substances that tranquilized as easy as the two guns pinned to my belt.

"Two…three…four…go!" one of the SWAT's behind us said.

Casey opened the door and I was the one to run into the room with my gun pointing left and right, trying to see through the vapor.

The room was just a regular office, nothing unsuspicious. We walked down the corridor on alert and we passed about three unconscious people lying on the floor. The drugs would work for about two hours; hopefully it was enough to get Chuck the hell out of here.

In the end of the corridor, there were stairs leading down. I hadn't really thought about it before but all the rooms lacked of light. The lights had been shut off, why was a good question.

"_We are mobilizing outside the building." _Casey's transceiver said.

"_Do you copy?" _Casey pushed some buttons of his transceiver.

_"_Roger that." He said and nodded me to continue.

We made our way down the stairs and I started to sweat and my breathing deepened. It was exhausting; all this nervousness was killing me. One wrong move and Chuck could die.

About five minutes later, that had felt more like five _hours, _ended as I was met by another steel door on the bottom of the stairs. We repeated the process and one of the SWAT guys opened the door so that I could throw in my smoke bomb.

The wait was excruciating and when the countdown reached its end the door flung open and we were in a white corridor. The corridor seemed to be directly taken out of a psychiatric hospital or something, disgustingly white walls, white floor and a white ceiling. But now the white floor was covered by a couple of unconsciousness bodies dressed in white coats- just like scientists. I counted the bodies and I reached the number eight.

Soon there were doors here and there and I cast a gaze back to Casey and he seemed as puzzled as I. Chuck could be in any of those rooms… Chuck could also be in any of the rooms five below. We didn't have much time left before the people would start to wake up and hit the alarms.

Casey grabbed his receiver and he called down more people- the obvious solution. Until the SWAT teams would arrive, we started kicking in doors and throwing smoke bombs to clear the rooms. Strange thing was- each room was empty.

I couldn't let my hope falter as we kept searching the rooms that kept turning up empty. I kept thinking that I was even closer to finding Chuck.

The SWAT squad was searching on every floor, more bodies started to drop down to the floor and I found myself on the bottom floor- last floor.

"Chuck!" I couldn't help but yell, maybe he would answer if he heard my voice?

"_Chuck!_" I screamed as I ran down the white corridor that was illuminated by a strong light. Casey was just behind me and as we cleared the floor, I saw that there were only two doors left. Casey took the left and I took the right.

I opened the door and I stepped in.

This room was just like the other rooms, dull and grey. But this room had a bed on the right side of the room and a wardrobe on the left.

No. No. No. No. No. No. _NO. _

I walked up to the white wardrobe and slid its door open, revealing its content.

There were a few white shirts and a grey tie, _Chuck's tie. _I picked up the tie and stroke it between my two fingers.

My hope crumbled and I lost my balance and fell down unto the floor on my knees.

"_No._"

"_All units, all floors cleared. Return to base, over." _Casey's receiver buzzed.

_"_Over_". _Casey grunted.

I closed my eyes and I felt my heart ache and its rhythm stop.

_Too late. _ I had been too fucking late. I squeezed the tie in my hands and I just wanted to cry. I just wanted to cry and laugh and kill- kill those who did this to Chuck. I didn't understand- it had made perfect sense that Chuck would be here. There had been a suspicious amount of electricity power running in this area. He was supposed to be here, but he wasn't and that was the thing that broke me.

"I'm so sorry Chuck." I whispered as I hid my face in his tie in my palms.


	5. Five: On the other side

**Note: Hi! Sorry for the wait! Stuff came up and I couldn't write and I'm sorry. Hope that you will enjoy this chapter tho.**

...

**_Chuck_**

* * *

><p><em>I raised my gaze toward the person's eyes in front of me and my breathing stopped as it wasn't Bad doc standing in the doorway.<em>

I had actually expected to see Sarah or Casey in the doorway, but disappointment drowned me as I looked into an older man's darker eyes.

"Intersect! Rise from the ground!" I didn't hesitate.

I felt the exhaustion of standing on my legs and I really just wanted to sit down or collapse to the ground. I had no idea of how long I had been in this cell and I hadn't eaten for a good while, strange thing was that I hadn't felt the urge to use the bathroom yet…

"Get over here!" His voice was stern and very unpleasant, I was too scared to disobey and I found myself soon standing beside the man. The guy was bald and in his mid-fifties. He wore a brown leather jacket that really didn't fit a guy at his age and under that jacket a black shirt was visible. He wore a pair of dark pants and my eyes caught the sight of a black tattoo on the back of his hand. I felt a shooting pain down my skull and I couldn't help but let out a low growl.

**ELLIOT COLBURN, 1964, ASSASSIN, FULCRUM OPERATIVE, OFFICIALLY DECEASED 2004.**

The images finally came to a halt and I felt my balance crumble. My right hand caught the wall and I tried to breathe through the slowly fading pain.

"I said; get the hell over here." The husky voice penetrated through the haze of the overwhelming pain and I took a sharp breath to collect myself. Elliot gripped his hand around my waist and he basically dragged me forward. Everything was a blur, I couldn't see quite well and the alarm rang dull in the back of my head. I was partly conscious- and I really didn't understand, the Intersect hadn't done this to me before.

I felt how my bare feet's got dragged across the floor and I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore so I let myself slip into unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>"You know, you had us scared for a moment when you made that phone call. You see, a few days back, a certain CIA operative found one of our safe houses- or decoy, call it whatever. Either way, I got to admire, that chic is damn hot." <em>That voice… <em>I cracked my eyes open to be meet by a strong light beaming into my eyes- it hurt like hell and I quickly closed my eyes.

"There we go." I decided to make another try and I opened my eyes. There were still white spots dancing in front of my eyes but fortunately the blinding light was gone. My body shivered as I looked around the round room that looked to belong to a luxury clinic.

"Either way, it was pretty sad to watch that chic of yours cry over a tie- literally." My eyes started to focus and I registered a bald man sitting in a chair next to my bed. I noticed how the guy, what was the guy's name… Elliot, hid a flashlight into his brown leather pocket.

"_You_… where am I?" Elliot seemed to relax and leaned back in his chair. I looked down at my left upper arm and saw that there were IV's stuck in my arm, some more IV's connected me to a beeping heart monitor.

"You're in the same building- we moved you ten floors down, since you triggered that alarm by that phone call. Thankfully, what you picked up was burner phone- that means that whoever the hell you called couldn't track the phone. So it's okay Chuck, you're safe." I wanted to hit him- but I doubt that I could even touch his face before he threw me down unto the ground or something.

"The only safe place is half across the world from here", I muttered. Elliot arched a brow and crossed his legs.

"Why are you complaining? You should be thankful."

"For what? You Fulcrum agents do nothing more than harm! You abducted me, you threatened my family, my family thinks I'm dead and now I'm stuck in this bunker that is full of assassin's and Fulcrum agents."

"Assassin's?"

"Yeah, your kind." He seemed to gain interested as he leaned forward and he raised his both eyebrows.

"My kind? Tell me, what do you know about me?" I sighed and followed the same procedure that I had done the whole month.

"Your name is Elliot Colburn and you were born in Seattle in 1964, you were officially deceased in 2004 and oh, you're a coldblooded assassin." A smirk appeared across his face.

"Wow, I wasn't sure if that thing actually worked."

"Wasn't sure? I thought that all Fulcrum agents knew about me?" Elliot leaned back in his chair and he sighed.

"Yeah well, our world doesn't work like this. Okay, let me explain this to you. You are a very, if not the _most _valuable asset in the world. I mean the government won't stop looking for you until they've found your body. Now, we all know that everybody talks- how hard could it be for the CIA or FBI or whatever to find a Fulcrum agent and tear them limb for limb until they start talking? No. We've a small group of about twenty people that knows who you are. Everyone else in this building thinks that you're a… computer geek or something."

"Why are you telling me this?" his smile vanished.

"Because deep down you know, we both _know_ that you're never getting out of here. So it doesn't matter if I tell you or not- it's not like you can tell anybody."

Beg my pardon for saying that Bryce Larkin was my greatest enemy, the Assassin guy was far worse. I was pretty certain that I'd develop a hate for this guy.

* * *

><p>I wasn't certain, but I think that about three days had passed since I woke up in the… clinic. I had been sedated here and there and Elliot had sat beside my bed the whole time. I didn't understand what his deal was, but he was just like a vulture. If I dared to look into his eyes he'd catch my gaze and stare back at me until I looked away, I could say that was it pretty awkward. He hadn't really said anything except for stuff like: are you okay? How are you feeling? I had just nodded and answered with a; "I'm fine."<p>

He wasn't like bad doc- he was… _friendlier. _Like, Elliot didn't really isolate himself from me as soon as he had the chance. Don't get me wrong- I hated the guy, but still, he was one of the very few people I've talked to. And trust me, if you're stuck in a cell for a month with nothing to do all day and no human contact- it drives you insane. I shouldn't really talk to these people, but it was just _too _tempting not to. I'm only human; I need civilization, human contact- even if that contact is with Fulcrum agents and assassins. I let my gaze wander to Elliot that sat with his legs crossed in that chair beside my bed with a book in his hands; he read a book called _Treasure Island_.

"So… Elliot, what's up with the 'deceased 2004' thing?" Elliot's eyebrows shoot toward the roof and he gained an interested smirk. He closed gently his book and then he placed it on the nearest table.

"It speaks." I avoided eye contact, I had no interest in becoming friends with him, but the silence was killing me and the only other thing I had to do was to stare at the ceiling.

"Do you remember when that guy in the white coat brought you to a clinic similar to this one to show you pictures?" I swallowed and I looked at the ceiling. I noticed that the ceiling here had a nice shade of white; it wasn't as alabaster as the rest of the ceilings in this building.

"Hard to forget." I twinned my fingers and rested my hands over my stomach.

"Well, we encoded some pictures associated with that case, if you would like it I could tell you a word that would trigger the Intersect, if you are up for it of course."

Was he trying to be nice? No, I couldn't let myself be fooled by a coldblooded assassin; pictures of his victims were still fresh in my mind.

"I'm not sure," and I wasn't. I dared to swing a glance at him, he seemed to be buried deep in his thoughts and luckily he didn't stare back at me as the vulture he was.

"Emily Swan." His eyes caught mine and I hastily looked away.

The shooting pain was back again and this time I couldn't help but put my hands over my head. It seemed to be impossible- but the excruciating pain only seemed to get worse flash after flash.

**_Subject 19, Elliot Colburn. Undercover operative, _****_No image of subject Subject working for _**_Emily Swan__**, a rouge AGRA operative, now a Fulcrum operative.**_

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Mhrm", I was tired and my vision got blurry. Of what I saw, Elliot had a worried expression pasted over his face.

"_Chuck?" _

Screw reality, the peacefulness the darkness provided me was far better.

* * *

><p>"Ellie, for real, where the hell are we going?" why was she smiling? A few hours earlier Ellie had said that she wanted to surprise me. Well, we had been driving for two whole hours. Where could she possibly want to go? I looked out of the car window to see palms passing by; the sun shone strongly and was on the top of the sky. I sighed deeply and shifted my face and body to my left to get a glance of Morgan in the backseat. Morgan shrugged and looked to be as impatient as I.<p>

"I have no clue brother." Sure, I will admit, I may be a really impatient fourteen year old but come on, two hours?

"Soon Chuck, I promise", just as she said that I could hint something that looked like a waterpark in the distance.

"Are we?" a smile spread across my face and I could see Ellie's joy in the corner of my eye. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt this happy since dad left us.

_This was going to be awesome._

* * *

><p>This was not awesome. I became aware of my surrounding and I wasn't in the car with Ellie and Morgan and hell I wasn't even fourteen, I was twenty-something old.<p>

"What was that?" I recognized the husky voice in the distance and my vision became focused.

"Just _don't _do that again."

"Do what?" A woman in her early forties stood hovered over me with a flashlight, Elliot too; just minus the flashlight.

The woman was dressed in one of those doctor coats and her silver nametag flapped against her coat. _Susan Rhodes. _Who knew if it was her real name?

"He will live", she said while turning the flashlight off and stepping back, giving me some personal space and Elliot - he didn't move. In fact, he was so close that I could smell his mint breath.

"Personal space, please", I complained. My words left Elliot roll his eyes and he took one step back, one.

"I thought that you died or something", he said agitated. The doctor, Susan, made a; _are you fucking me_ face.

I hadn't noticed it until now, but Elliot hadn't said my name even once… he hadn't said my name at all. That left me thinking, did he even know my name? I shrugged the thought of; I just hoped that this wasn't one of their psychological treatments.

"Does this always happen to you? The passing out thing?" I turned my head toward him.

"Well I haven't been forced to flash on things 24/7 before, so no. This is new." After being imprisoned in a bunker for weeks, I had finally given up. I could just tell them the truth, I would never get out- so why did it matter?

"We should have you checked out." I shifted my gaze towards Susan who stood by a cabinet covered by bottles, needles and medicine. She held up a bottle of some liquid and studied its content by standing nearby a light.

"Haven't that doctor already done that?" I asked simply.

"No, more like a psychologist."

"A shrink? Really?" I didn't know why, but talking to these people seemed to get easier by the time that passed.

"You will love it. I'll get an appointment." I think that _he_ was the one that needed an appointment, I mean, sometimes he will just stare at me like a vulture. Other times he will use a harsh voice and refuse to call me anything but "The Intersect". Other times like this he will be a decent human being- he was a freaking emotional roller-coaster.

* * *

><p>"Ow!" Seven days I had been held inside this clinic with nothing to do than stare at the alabaster ceiling or talk to the assassin. Unfortunately I had been reckless and chosen to talk to the assassin. I didn't know why, but I had started to develop friendly feelings toward Elliot- dammit, I was probably developing the Stockholm-syndrome.<p>

"Come on", Eliot said as he ripped off my IV's, disconnecting me from the heart monitor, urine-bag etc.

I kicked off the white blanked that had kept me warm through the cold nights and I gently swung my legs over the edge of the bed, I needed to remind myself that I hadn't walked for a couple of days. The movement made me feel dizzy and it took me a moment to collect myself.

"Come on, let's get you out of here", Elliot said gripping my waist in order to help me up. My legs felt like rubber and Elliot seemed to do the lifting.

We made our way to the door and Elliot's grip around my waist loosened.

"You okay to walk on your own now?" I nodded and he let go, leaving me alone to stand on my own feet. I was astonished that I hadn't collapsed onto the floor; I actually managed to stand up without any further trouble.

Elliot opened the door and he briefly escorted me through the too familiar white corridor into another room. Elliot closed the door, and I was welcomed by a guy in his mid-fifties. This room was a tidy office and there was a comfortable blue chair in front of the guy. I glanced back to see Elliot gesture his hand toward the chair. With a sigh I did as he asked and Elliot exited the room, leaving me alone with the shrink.

* * *

><p>"Are you afraid of dying Mr. Bartowski?"<p>

"Let's just say that I'd greet death as an old friend."

"And if you had a gun?"

"I'd press the gun against my temple and I wouldn't be afraid to pull the trigger." The therapist sighed and took off his glasses, he pulled out a napkin from his grey blazer pocket and he cleaned the glasses carefully.

"Are you telling me that you're suicidal?" The therapist asked, putting his glasses back on place, shoving down his napkin in his pocket.

"Well, if you think about the circumstances… I'm locked in a cell 24/7, I haven't seen a _living _soul nor the sunlight for a month- no offense, but none of you are really human. You, Fulcrum, you're all a bunch of psychopaths. And yeah, being held in your grip against my will makes me suicidal."

"Chuck, I know that these past weeks have been tough on you, but you can't give up just yet."  
>"Why not? My sister, my friends, they all think that I'm <em>dead. <em>Without them- What life do I have? Because imprisoned, with no contact at all with humanity, with nothing to do all day, sitting in front of a TV screen with no channels, it drives you insane. It _kills _you. If I'm going to be honest, I'm already dead inside."

After all this time, I had finally admitted it out loud. I was tired, and these last couples of days made me feel like a zombie. Dragging my feet's forwards, holding myself upwards by supporting my body with my hands pressing against the walls,

"You know, we have been noble by letting you keep your memories. We even took you out of that cell." _Keep your memories_? What the hell did he mean by that?

"What? Noble? That's the _last _thing you are."

"Don't tempt my patience Chuck."

After a moment of silence I looked down at my nerd heard outfit that missed the tie.

"So, what's up with the tie?" The randomness in my question made the therapist arch his eyebrow.

"Well, to be honestly; it was a test. You see, we want to know how you're doing psychologically, not only psychically. Well, personally I don't understand how you haven't tried to hang yourself with that tie yet."

These Fulcrum agents were screwing with my mind. And honestly, the tie idea hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Well, I guess that I just didn't think of that."

After I had been sitting there silently for the past fifteen minutes, the psychologist sedated me with his tranquilizer gun that he pulled out from his desk.

My vision gained blurry and I tumbled into darkness.


	6. Thirteen reasons why

**Note 1: Well, I guess that things look pretty gloomy for Chuck, but well; I don't really know how to write a happy version of him when he's stuck in a Fulcrum facility, (If he isn't stuffed with drugs)… :/ I will tell you this tho, *this's probably a spoiler* But I do hope that Chuck will see sky and feel its sun beams stoke his skin. As they say: Things turn better with time…**

**Note 2: So, I decided to write in third person and continue in that way. Now, I know I know I'm probably valuating a lot of writing rules etc. I'm sorry for that but I just thought that it'd be easier to write. And when you read the letter below, maybe the beginning is a little dark but then you will notice that it turns brighter... **

**Note 3: This's chapter 6/7, beg my pardon for this short one but I feel really guilty for not being able to post sooner! :( The last chapter will be up in a week or two. **

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sarah<em>**

_My thirteen reasons why_

_1.__When I first met you Sarah, I couldn't believe that someone like you would want to talk to someone like me, I mean, have you seen my face? How could someone as pretty/smoking hot as you want to talk to someone like me? Every time I remember your smile it makes my day brighter._

_2.__I've been in this hell-hole for about a month, I can't do anything than to stare at the four walls. They are driving me insaine and I din't know how long I can manage to go on like this. If I'm already gone when you get this…  
>You're the one that keeps me alive.<em>

_3.__When I'm gone, I want to be someone's happy memory. So when I interact with people I want to be one of their good memories, because what good comes from creating bad ones around you?  
>Please remember me as a good memory.<em>

_4.__Sarah, each day I lay in my bed, staring at the white ceiling. What keeps me going isn't hope but memories, and each day I pull out this piece of paper and I write down a story. My story, and then I write an happy ending- because is it too much to ask?_

_5.__You. You saved my life, maybe I didn't know it at the time, but I've finally realized it. Your kind, you aren't selfish and I get it now- about the bunker, about everything. I miss you._

_6.__Think, in the next million years, when the humanity cease to exist and the world has burned down into crisps, nothing will matter. Our books, works, words, memories- it will all be gone. My life is meaningless- our lives are meaningless. We live and die and all we do in the meantime is to share our DNA. _

_7.__Wait, this text turned dark too soon. Sorry Sarah, I got caught up in the moment. Our lives are valuable- it's just the present that counts.  
>So don't think about the future and don't think about the past, just live in the now and have fun.<em>

_8.__Sarah, I just had the strangest dream ever! I dreamt that I was on a beach-with you. We were staring at the horizon and we were holding hands, we were also eating luxury steak. Suddenly, what seemed to be ages later, you smiled and called me a dork and then you pulled me into a kiss- and you kissed me like nothing before. I mean, who eats luxury steak on the middle of a beach? _

_9.__Okay so I know that this will sound weird but… I really want to touch you. Oh my god, not like that. Okay, maybe, ugh. Okay, let's try this; I want to stroke your alabaster skin that is as soft as silk. I just need something to remember you with. Actually, I asked Elliot Colburn if I could send you this letter yesterday. He abruptly, of course, answered "no". He stated that I had most likely written an anagram that only you could decipher. Well, I wouldn't doubt that you would have any trouble with that, but me? Unless you played games I wouldn't come far.  
>But don't worry, I love you anyways.<em>

_10.__My days are counted, *please note my hidden sarcasm*. Elliot and I fell into an argument about colorblind people and I pulled this joke. Like, if you're color blind, and you've for example never seen the color red… I wonder how those people drive. Like, they've been told their entire life not to drive against the red light…  
>I remember your laugh like yesterday; I hope that this made you smirk at least.<em>

_11.__I miss your hair. I don't even know why, or maybe I do. I just love how your hair tangles when it's caught by the wind, it's so… _majestic. _Haha, I should never become a writer._

_12.__I don't really know what's happened but lately I'm happy again. I don't know, maybe they are giving me anti-depressive tablets or something by my food or water... You know what? I'm pretty convinced that I'm going to see you once again. I refuse to not remember what my last words to you were. I'm going to meet you Sarah, at least one more time and then I'm going to hug you. Because I've missed you and I still do. I just want to breathe in your vanilla scent and make my world complete again. _

_13.__1 ½ month, that's how long I've gone without you. I kind of wish that I had telepathic powers or something so that I could talk to you. Sure, I've got the Intersect in my brain; it's like the unwanted secret power that took my life away- metaphorically speaking. But once I think about it, if I had a choice where I could go back and undo reading that e-mail Bryce sent me- I wouldn't want to go back, because then I wouldn't have met you, and my life would never have been the same. I think that I've said the words "I love you", in more than seven ways. The word in say is pretty abstract, you could say it ways as in, "how's your day been?" or "Take care of yourself". There will be no more games and no more hidden messengers, so I'm just going to spell this out for you. Sarah, I love you._

* * *

><p>When Sarah finished reading the letter back in castle, she completely broke down in tears. With a trembling hand she pulled the paper closer to breathe in Chuck's smell, god she <em>missed him.<em>


End file.
